I Have A Confession

I have a confession to make: writing scares me.  There, I said it. Now, I’m sure you’re probably wondering why someone who is scared of writing would a) be a writing tutor and b) start a blog. It just doesn’t add up, does it? But before you go jumping to conclusions, let me explain myself.

Honestly, I’m not scared of the actual writing process itself. I love being able to put my thoughts down on paper (or screen) and see them all laid out in front of me in black and white. It’s a way for me to organize all the jumbled words in my head and make sense of them. I like being able to paint a picture with my words and immerse the reader into the world I see in my head.

What really scares me is the vulnerability I feel and the potential criticism from others. When I write, all of my thoughts, hopes, and dreams are out in the open. They aren’t locked away in my head anymore, and anyone—invited or not—can see them. I’ve opened myself up, and I’m scared of the judgment. Will people like what I write? Will they think my writing is awful, or worse yet, will they not even get what I’m trying to say?

I need to remind myself that I’m not writing for the approval of others. I’m writing for myself. I write not only improve myself as a person, but also to improve my writing. I believe Rodolfo Costa sums it up best, “Criticism is just someone else’s opinion. Even people who are experts in their fields are sometimes wrong. It is up to you to choose whether to believe some of it, none of it, or all of it. What you think is what counts.”

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I’m Stuck

I feel unsocial. Like a wallflower. An introvert. Watching my team take us to the championships as I sit on the bench. Outside, I am calm and collected, but inside, I am screaming. I want to join in, but I can’t. I am suffering. Suffering from Writer’s Block.

Writing prompts are there to get the juices flowing, to get the gears moving to get you to write. I, however, am stuck in the mud. Unable to gain any traction, my wheels are spinning. It’s frustrating. I want to write and join in with everyone, but I feel stuck behind a glass wall. I’m able to see everything going on through the glass, but am unable to get the full experience.

Should I force myself to write something, anything? Or should I wait until one of the prompts finally hits me and inspires something? Or, perhaps, maybe I was prompted. Prompted to write about how I couldn’t write. So, in a roundabout way, am I out of the rut?